..:: GOOD GIRL GONE BAD ::..

It’s been more than a week without you here.. And there’s just one word to say.. I miss you....😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢 And the only thing you could pay me is I guess there’s no place in your heart for me at all....

why i said last?.. Because he’s already finish his contract with mydin. And now we’re no longer in a same place. He’s going to find a new job and meeting a new friend and maybe a new girl crush whichhh wayyy better than me. And here am i... Still missing him. I thought about him all time. Yess i become more focused toward my job now but deep inside, i did it to make me busier...so I didn’t habe to think about him. But everytime i pause, i still think about him 😢 this pain is real...i still can see his present at every glance. If only he can be on my side forever... But it’s just a dream. He’s got his own girl and I’m stupid if I’m hoping anything from him. I dont know if it’s love or what but whatever it is... it is one pure feeling i have towards him..he’s not the dream guy i dream...he’s totally opposite everythinf..but he really have this pure heart that i searcing for.. But it’s over now.. Yesterday, 9/10/2020 was his last day working here. He did say goodbye ...

So.. this 2 month working is all about him We got too close Tanpa sedar ramai mata memandang and mungkin ramai yg tak puas hati or menyampah Aku dgr banyak cerita mengejutkan Of how he has this baran side. Benda ni sgt mengejutkan aku sampai kena anxiety attack seriuss Of course org tu sampaikan kat aku And ada jugak org taknak cerita dekat aku Gosip mmg aku rasa dah jadi bahan bualan org Ingat setakat tu je tapi hahahaa Ada yg claim aku ni gatal sebab layan sgt dia Sampai dia langsung x kacau org lain Kebabian apakah? Ohhh and ada perbualan bodoh.... Orang: nak mengumpat pasal D jangan cakap tepi sarah.. dia awek D Aku: senyum sambil menafikan (as usual) Orang lain: kannn tapi kesian sarah.. DIA DAH ADA MAKWE. orang bandar sama katanya tak main la dengan org sini. Babi Selama ni dia yg duk kacau aku rapat dekat tapi aku yg kesian. That’s so funny And i feel kinda hurt...i dont know why Either sebab Ayat org tu Or Dia dah ada awek tapi buat depan aku ma...

Yess...a new story at my new life So dah beberapa bulan kerja mydin ni...i found out I’m still feeling helpless..hampir hari2 takde mood. INTROVERT takyah cakap la...bila org cakap dgn aku je aku buat semangat. Kalau x, diam lah. Nak kenal nak kawan kawan...taknak pergi mampus Sebab tu kot ada org yg aku perasan takleh nak ngam dgn aku. Hahahahahah do i care? Ceritanya kat sini... Aku x pernah expect ada lagi kisah bakal tercipta kat sini. Never once i thought before. Walaupun ada  beberapa makhluk kacau aku tapi mmg takde la aku nak rasa pape flutter bagai. But this one..this man... Minggu WCS (werehouse clean sale) Aku terpilih jadi staff jaga bahagian wcs. So mmg busy nak mampus kat bawah. Tak dan nak fikir bahagian atas ape jadi. Time tu la ada dua budak baru masuk. Or 3 if i mistaken. And one of them is this D. (His nickname) his real name identical dgn nama slaah satu entry aku pernah buat so takpelah. Gonna use D. So aku mula2 perasan dia ni time last day WCS...

sambungan... so begitulah hari2 kami berkawan...dia sentiasa kacau aku kat kaunter..gosip kami takyah cakap la. tersebar di seluruh department Electrical and department lain. semua org igt aku gf dia. that time..aku masih mempunyai bf...masa ni si syaitan L. yes......L and juga tgh nak berkenalan dgn sorang lagi manusia. adoiii la sor.. yg aku ingat...ketika aku sedang rapat dgn F ni...aku telah melukakan hati sorang lagi lelaki...yg aku kagumi iaitu Abang S. kisah abang S aku akan cerita kat new entry nanti. sebab ada kaitan dgn si F ni. so apa kisah yg aku lukakan hati si F ni... sampai rasa bersalah aku masih terkesan hingga hari ni.. AKU KEJAM.. dalam tempoh kenal aku..dia banyak luahkan perasaan kat aku..dalam fon..and setiap malam bila dia cuba text aku..aku akan bg alasan takde credit. so aku mintak dia topup. bila dia dah topup aku call jantan lain...HAHAHHHAHHA babi betul perangai kau sor..and i did it almost everynight in a month. layak ke kau digelar manu...

F giant.... andai kita dapat berjumpa lagi....seribu kemaafan aku nak bg kat kau aku akan mintak maaf mintak maaf dan mintak maaf selagi aku boleh.. aku takkan lupa.. F giant..aku terpaksa letak giant kt belakang nak bezakan F yg lain tu aku pernah tulis entry before ni. and giant juga refer kepada tempat aku kenal dia. ceritanya bermula... 2013. aku kerja di giant Kuala Terengganu.. taktau la ape yg aku melalut kat sana tp i became quite well-known staff..hahahah as cashier je pun. sebab aku baru kot..time tu aku sama2 masuk kerja dgn Fatin Adilah. my best friend since Giant Gong Badak. aku pun melalut la ikut fesyen zaman tu..pkai pin bunga sentiasa kat tudung. masalhnya pin besar gedabak tau. jadi la mcm gadis melayu sesat di alam kini. so biasa la aku akan pakai hari2 bunga merah sekuntum kat kepala. hahahahahahaha dapat la gelaran famous time tu AWEK BUNGA and maybe aku time tu takde la setembam gini lagi. aku asyik dapat attention tak kira dari department mana...

Sometimes i feel like i wanna give a chance.. Maybe i need to But t everytime i want to That dark fear come again and remind me How hurt it was to be there again What if i fall to the darkness again Is the chance worth it? To the guys who thought you may have a chance I’m sorry I’m not worth it. ... This pain just don’t wanna go away.