..:: GOOD GIRL GONE BAD ::..

Ni kisah aku dan SS a.k.a Senyum Sokmo..atau nama sebenar dia MS. Perkenalan bermula di zaman fb. Zaman bodoh2 gila2😂😂😂 zaman baru nak up zaman shuffle dan sebagainya la. Time ni jugak zaman sor hati keras hati batu takde perasaan lgsg. Tp pakwe sekeliing pinggang buat stok sms time bosan. . Dan di situ juga lah sor couple dgn SS ni sebab dia tegur pasal nama kot. Sarah Soryuna Speedodevo😂😂 semua org menganjing pasal nama ni. Shuffle sgt. So aku pun mula jd kawan..lama2 rapat and couple. Bertahan sampai 1 tahun lebih tp on off on off. Sebab mmg takde perasaan pun. Berbulan tak contact pun no hal. Itu kisah form 3. And i end the relationship dgn curang. Dgn slumber aku patahkan hatinya. But i never care. End year of form 5..aku sunyi. Sebab time tu syok couple dgn si F. Aka Edward cullen (bukan nama sebenar). Tp tiba2 dia diamkan diri lepas habis spm. I thought he forget me. So aku cari la SS ni balik. Sekali lg aku rapat and couple. Tp juga endingnya aku terus terabg dgn ...

Bila godek2 gambar kat gallery 2014 2015...baru sedar..i wasted a lot of time ikut cakap jantan. Dia byk kongkong hidup aku. Keseronokan and memory aku alami dgn kawan2 terbatas..hanya kerana jaga hati seorang jantan itu. Wowww What a waste!!!😢😢😢😢 If only boleh ulang masa...i will live my life to the fullest with my friends. Cause aku tau diorg yg masih stay dgn aku sampai skrg...dan jantan itu..dah lama mati. . 2 3 hari ni aku asyik termimpi jantan tu..yg tak guna tu la MHI. dont worry aku tak mimpi sweet2 pun. Just wataknya ada dalam tu. Maybe sebab petanda dia dah nak kawin kot. Hahaha..congrates  Aku dah xde feel ape2 dah bro. Sumpah . Btw aku terfikir bila kau kahwin  ngan pompuan tu..agak2 kau jemput ke aku. Aku tak pernah2 gi wedding EX. nak jugak rasa feel dia. 😂😂😂😂 stupid hope. Alang2 boleh aku tunaikan janji nak bg balik bear tu a.k.a MILO. Bungkus cantik2 nahhh bg la kau balik. Tp sampai ke hati aku nak serahkan baby aku tuu😭😭😭😭😭 NOOOOOO. . ...

this is my story about my last love or boyfriend. he's the reason for everything change about me now. he's the silence killer of me. my most true but pain love. i never love anyone like i did to him. the story begin like this. . . . . 17/10/2016 pagi tu, pajera sampai ke kolej aku. kitorg nak bertolak sama2 ke penang esoknya. so dia lepak2 sini dulu. so, byk la aku duk share2 gosip2 ngan dia. that time, aku tgh duk meroyan lg kena tinggal EX babi tu MHI. tp masuk ni dh sebulan so dah takde tears cuma emosi masih ade la. pajera lak time ni duk angau katanya ade boyfriend baru. kapel baru 3 hari. so many story to told. hahaaa. it was a nice day really.. . tp si pajera ni punya laaa clingy dgn pakwe barunya..setiap saat nak bergayut..so aku pun naik fedup. saje2 la duk main2 suruh pakwe dia tu rekemen member. hahaaa..last2 berkenan kat sorg hamba allah ni. yaaa,,,that man!!!! WMAS. kalau boleh taknak igt laa feeling time tu. aku pun buat la kerja bodoh yg lame sgt acah sal...

The only place that would hear the screaming from my heart is here. Ive got so much things in my head..too much.. but i dont have anybody to talk to..no.. actually i dont want to talk to anybody. Coz nobody will understand. . What if i said all this pain that i felt..all those stories that ive been through, all those hardship that i faced..begin with MUSIC. Do you believe it? . . Well..i will begin the story when I ready to.

It's been exactly 5 month now. But everything still clearly in my mind. Every single thing.. i still remembered the feeling the weather the voice the moments..and every fucking detailed things. And yes it is a burden!!! I feel like a prisoner. Stuck with his beautiful memories forever. Oh no...actually her beautiful fake memories. No i dont miss him or everything. It just my heart keep saying to myself that it is just a dream so why must u hate the memories. Yeahh..i guess dream is supposed not to be a matter or something that u should bothered. In the end it will just faded away. I hope so.. Please go away..dream. stop it. . By the way im better handling with my life now. Whenever i feel so lonely i will quickly find my family or my friends. They sure know how to make me feel worthy. Such feelings that i never feel whem im with guys. So tell me why should i accept any guy after this. No way man. I got everything more than what i want.

dalam banyak2 benda...ada jugak benda aku fail. tapi paling fail adalah uruskan hal2 yg berkaitan diri seperti dokumen, persiapan untuk ke mana2 dan apa2 je la yg berkaitan dengan preparation. why i am so weak in this thing!!!! bunyi simple tapi sulit dia tu..tuhan je tau. baru2 ni aku ade dapat interview untuk Yayasan Sime Darby . skrg dia dh colleberate dgn yayasan peneraju tunas potensi , ada la syarat2 dia utk apply natang ni. so aku pn dapat la email berjaya terpilih ke sesi iv tu minggu lepas. sesi tu pulak hari sabtu kat KL dekat KL sentral.. aku tgh2 syok bercuti kat terengganu kott. so aku confident la tak dapat nak ikut sesi minggu lepas tu. aku siap2 tulis email utk dia balik cakap nak tangguh iv tu kepada next session. pada sangkaan aku, tundaan tu next week ka..next date lagi jauh ka. so aku takde la gelabah nak siapkan semua dokumen2 dia nak tu. suddenly hari jumaat sorang pompuan ni call, ckp boleh dtg x hari ahad. next day. 8.30 pagi pulak tu. mak aiii..tp yg ba...

i dont remember the last time seorang aku... bebas untuk buat keputusan or do anything on her own decision. guess time change everything. i ws once stupid little girl yg menurut kata stranger..lelaki..yg aku juga tak pernah pasti .. is he the right one for me? not just one man... but all of them.. i lost in my own battle. i give up all my hope. i waste everything that Allah granted to me. i was nearly destroying my own path of life. i never thought i cn still make things right till today. i once thought everything's already over. but im wrong. everything that hurt me finally turn out to be the thing that strenghten myself..  skrg aku bebas sepertimana seorang manusia patut bebas. aku bahagia menjadi aku. kalau dulu 24 jam tak cukup..kerana melayan rindu..kata2 manis bodoh semua tu..skrg aku byk masa terluang..dan lebih byk masa merindui family. despite all those dugaan, im still here fighting. tq allah for making me still here. semoga kesemua mereka di dalam jagaan mu. s...